Adult-Jokes Part 1

• “Doctor, doctor, I’m so worried,” said the anxious man.
  “Both my wife and I have black hair, but our son’s just been
  born with red hair. Do you think something funny has been
  going on?”
  “Not necessarily,” replied the doctor. “How many times do
  you have sex?”
  “About 5 times a year.”
  “Well, there’s your answer then, you’re just a little rusty.”

•  Man to son:
  Endeavour to marry a girl with small hands, it’ll make your
  penis look bigger.

• “Mummy, mummy, what’s a pussy?” asked the small boy. His
  mother went to the encyclopaedia and showed him a picture
  of a cat.
  “That’s a pussy,” she said.
  “Mummy, mummy, what’s a bitch?” continued the little boy.
  Again, mother consulted the encyclopaedia and showed her
  son a picture of a dog.
  But the boy wasn’t convinced so he went to his father and
  asked him what a pussy was. Dad went to his magazine,
  opened it at the centrefold and drew a circle.
  “There you are, son,” he said, “that’s a pussy.”
  Then the little boy asked him what a bitch was and dad
  replied sadly, “Everything outside the circle, son.”

•  A very rich businessman asked his small son what he would
  like for Christmas.
  “A baby brother please,” he replied.
  “I’m sorry, son, there’s not enough time, it’s only 3 weeks to
  Christmas.”
  “Well, can’t you put more men on the job?” the son
  suggested.

• Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods
  when she was suddenly attacked by a huge wolf.
  “At last, at last,” laughed the wolf. “I’m going to eat you all
  up.”
  “Oh sod it,” said Little Red Riding Hood, “doesn’t anyone
  fuck these days?”

•  Taking his girlfriend to the cinema, the man’s wig fell off
  when they were canoodling in the back row. As he felt
  around trying to find it, his hand accidentally went up his
  girlfriend’s skirt.
  “Oooh…” she moaned, “Go on, go on, that’s it.”
  “No, it can’t be,” he said. “I part mine on the right.”